My life right now is:
Work in Chelsea
Walking Calvin and willing him to pee
Luna Bars
The sunset by the Westside highway
Tompkin’s Square Park and the regular’s on Avenue C
Coveting this: http://www.ravinstyle.com/shop/productDetail.asp?p=3529
Tired feet shoed in pink Keds
The feeling of sweet satisfaction as I turn the key of my very own apartment
Curled up next to me and sleeping soundly is a bit of warmth and rising breath. I’ve dubbed it Calvin in honor of my favorite cartoon character, whose perpetual six-year-old state meshes with his mischief and big heart to create an endearing and familiar kid. At this point, I feel somewhat like Calvin’s unnamed mother, exhausted for having run after my charge all day, picking up after him, spending money on him, trying to concentrate as he pestered me with unbelievable persistence. At times I’ve wondered what I have gotten myself into, questioned my carpe diem standpoint on puppy raising and potty training, doubted my intuition and natural predisposition to do away with all leashes and accompanying accessories.
Indeed, today flew by with the same kind of scattered energy associated with having a child. The combination of this rush and a single slippery sock misplaced found me falling on my ass, hard upon the hardwood staircase, shattering the painted popcorn bowl I was carrying and bringing about a big purple bruise on the left side of my lower back. I know the bruise will fade and with it, these feelings of frenzy, but I also worry that the coming weeks will slow that process. In the next fourteen days I will start a new job, move to new apartment, and travel to Springfield for the Vermont spring classic horse show, Calvin in tow, reclaiming the grooming position I swore never to return to, all so I can be close to Ham and coach the little girl who will show him in my stead.
It all feels hopelessly overwhelming when I venture too far from the present moment. Luckily, I am calmed by the words of my little buddy’s namesake, who wisely stated to his best friend Hobbes, “We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”… Maybe tomorrow I’ll be mopping up after Calvin’s inability to control his bladder, or coaxing him into his carrying case despite his adamant protestations. But all that effort means nothing in this moment, and here, I am at peace.
Throughout the day, I’ve weathered the fluxuation between feelings of utter adoration and absolute frustration, ending up here, on the sofa with a helpless little lump of love and the knowledge that I’ll never be alone again. As I bid a piece of my independence farewell, I welcome in a friendship I am sure will be a core shaker, an inconvenience and a distinct blessing.
