In the Eyes of Equus~There is something in the eye of a horse. The soft penetrating stare of an animal whose eye falls at a level height with your own. I cannot say why I place such a degree of importance upon establishing an eye to eye relationship with a horse, be it my own or another equine friend whose care I have been charged with, but I make a point of meeting eyes until the stare can be held, unbroken, for some time.
Ham and I spend much of our time looking at one another. Our mutual gaze is not starry eyed or glossed over, but is one between equals.
In the eye of my horse, I can see my own reflection; I fit with perfect ease into the frame of his deep brown pupil. It is the only mirror that I can look into and know myself inside and out. I wonder if Ham feels the same way. I am quite sure his emotions do not categorize themselves with such complexity, but I do know, somewhere…in my heart I suppose, that he derives comfort from my stare, and through it, understands the deepest contents of my heart.
Up until this point in my life, I have had difficulty meeting other people’s eyes. It oddity of which I am aware but unable to shake. It is as if, when my eyes are locked with another person’s, I am vulnerable, a position which is admittedly uncomfortable for me. I learned at a young age that people are oftentimes not whom they initially appear to be, a fact which disappoints me, disappointment being a feeling that I will take great strides to avoid. To allow another is see into my eyes, is to expose my vulnerability, and risk feeling let down and hurt.
Perhaps I truly know that I love someone only when I can hold their gaze and think nothing of it. There are some with whom this is a reality, my best friends and my parents. Yet it remains to be true that even with them, I am aware of the challenge that meeting eyes presents me with to varying degrees in regards to anyone, be they family or stranger, save for one. Ham.
There is no hesitance in the eyes of my horse and I meet them with all my heart. Perhaps then, it is the horse who is the embodiment of the purest form love, fee of judgement, and trustworthy. Perhaps I knew that all along. Perhaps that is all the unbound eye contact I really need.
Ham and I spend much of our time looking at one another. Our mutual gaze is not starry eyed or glossed over, but is one between equals.
In the eye of my horse, I can see my own reflection; I fit with perfect ease into the frame of his deep brown pupil. It is the only mirror that I can look into and know myself inside and out. I wonder if Ham feels the same way. I am quite sure his emotions do not categorize themselves with such complexity, but I do know, somewhere…in my heart I suppose, that he derives comfort from my stare, and through it, understands the deepest contents of my heart.
Up until this point in my life, I have had difficulty meeting other people’s eyes. It oddity of which I am aware but unable to shake. It is as if, when my eyes are locked with another person’s, I am vulnerable, a position which is admittedly uncomfortable for me. I learned at a young age that people are oftentimes not whom they initially appear to be, a fact which disappoints me, disappointment being a feeling that I will take great strides to avoid. To allow another is see into my eyes, is to expose my vulnerability, and risk feeling let down and hurt.
Perhaps I truly know that I love someone only when I can hold their gaze and think nothing of it. There are some with whom this is a reality, my best friends and my parents. Yet it remains to be true that even with them, I am aware of the challenge that meeting eyes presents me with to varying degrees in regards to anyone, be they family or stranger, save for one. Ham.
There is no hesitance in the eyes of my horse and I meet them with all my heart. Perhaps then, it is the horse who is the embodiment of the purest form love, fee of judgement, and trustworthy. Perhaps I knew that all along. Perhaps that is all the unbound eye contact I really need.
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