Of Choice, Passion, and Potential Sacrifice~Home for any reason automatically means Ham. When given the opportunity to spend any time whatsoever in the country, I immediately prioritize the visitation of my dearest friend, a horse named Ham who just so happens to be my soul mate. Not once have I returned home to see him that I have not proclaimed my intentions to take a break from city life, move out to the country and once again, throw myself into horses with complete abandon.
My high school years were so horse crazy that I basically sacrificed all semblance of a social life in order to train with complete focus. It may not have been the most balanced of approaches but it certainly served a purpose and allowed Ham and I to achieve our greatest goals. Yet as with most intense undertakings, I experienced a bit of burn out which led me to place NYU at the top of my desired colleges list. It was one of the best decisions I have made to date as my beloved New York City has enabled me to open my conception of self above and beyond that of a self contained and single minded barn rat.
Three years down the road, still loving NYU yet missing Ham and my horse girl identity, I find myself at a crossroads. Two proverbial paths stretch out before me, one in the direction of horses, New England weather, my little blue car, long days at horse shows, and giving riding lessons. Down the other way I see myself embraced by Manhattan, walking fast and full of life, finding excitement around each corner. In my heart, I wish I could do both and wonder how such a dualistic scheme could be implemented. I cannot be in two places at the same time and to try and split my time evenly would surely result in a reverberating fragmentation throughout all areas of my life. Yesterday a dear friend said to me, “I know what I am doing, but not where I am going”; I recall thinking that, with purpose, location does not matter and will surely fall into place. As of now, however, it seems that, location does in a way dictate what it is I will be doing…and I wonder which path I will chose to wander, knowing that is it implausible to travel down diverging roads at the same time. Will choice automatically mean sacrifice?
My high school years were so horse crazy that I basically sacrificed all semblance of a social life in order to train with complete focus. It may not have been the most balanced of approaches but it certainly served a purpose and allowed Ham and I to achieve our greatest goals. Yet as with most intense undertakings, I experienced a bit of burn out which led me to place NYU at the top of my desired colleges list. It was one of the best decisions I have made to date as my beloved New York City has enabled me to open my conception of self above and beyond that of a self contained and single minded barn rat.
Three years down the road, still loving NYU yet missing Ham and my horse girl identity, I find myself at a crossroads. Two proverbial paths stretch out before me, one in the direction of horses, New England weather, my little blue car, long days at horse shows, and giving riding lessons. Down the other way I see myself embraced by Manhattan, walking fast and full of life, finding excitement around each corner. In my heart, I wish I could do both and wonder how such a dualistic scheme could be implemented. I cannot be in two places at the same time and to try and split my time evenly would surely result in a reverberating fragmentation throughout all areas of my life. Yesterday a dear friend said to me, “I know what I am doing, but not where I am going”; I recall thinking that, with purpose, location does not matter and will surely fall into place. As of now, however, it seems that, location does in a way dictate what it is I will be doing…and I wonder which path I will chose to wander, knowing that is it implausible to travel down diverging roads at the same time. Will choice automatically mean sacrifice?
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