Soon I will be twenty two years old.

That sounds old.

I feel young.

I am numerically advanced, but have yet to have a boyfriend.

I’ve yet to…well I can’t think of anything else that I’m “supposed” to have done by this point, but somehow, the perpetually single thing feels like a big one.

A big glaring sign, broadcasting my freak status to the rest of the committed relationship settled world.

Thing is, when you’re single, and the rest of your age group isn’t, it can get lonely. Which is maybe why a myriad of successes, accomplishments, and personal growth spurts are easily eclipsed by said singleness.

Or maybe it’s just the sadness one feels upon realizing that they can’t remember when the last time they really liked someone was. I don’t mean the “yea, why not? I sort of like him,” reaction, but more like the stomach flip, face hurts from smiling, can’t stop thinking about that person, I want him so bad and not just because I can’t have him, kind of like.

I certainly don't deign to believe that a significant other makes one's life worthwhile, or even fun...such has most definitely not been my observation. But it's sometimes hard not to slip into believing oneself less whole by virtue of a single status, simply because everywhere you turn, there's another couple, or another commercial featuring couples, or another chick flick toting an optimistic happy ending embodied by formerly single people becoming a couple, or another billboard with two entwined people, 100x their actual size and, surprise surprise, a couple.

Maybe my angst has nothing to do with all that, maybe it's just the fact that another year has passed and I'm still writing these whiney blog posts bemoaning single life. Fast forward fifty years....will it be the same? Will it even matter?

Hopefully not. I mean, it's usually the single ones we remember once they're gone...probably because they have the time and patience to produce what people in relationships miss because they're too busy having sex or fighting. Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson...single and brilliant, here I come.