Doubt
Fear
Fear of doubt

Trust
Lack of trust
Fear of lack of trust

Men
Sex
Wanting ache
Fear of ache makes for fear of men
Fear of men makes for fear of sex
Fear of sex makes for fear of self

Afloat on a sea of unknowing
Bobbing as a buoy in unsure waters
Expectation like an urchin
Suctioned to my mind

Unacknowledged
Undesired

Persistent barnacle on the back of my brain
Secreting doubt with each ring of his phone call
Each raise of his eyebrow
Each word from my mouth.